The Power of Disbelief

 “ Re-examine all you’ve been told, dismiss what insults your soul.”- Walt Whitman

It doesn’t cease to amaze me how beliefs hold people captive, and conversely, how people hold beliefs captive. There’s a flavor of fear of the unknown, or should I say the known. What would truly transpire if people suspended their endeared beliefs and risked knowing something different?

Beliefs are interestingly generated in families and society based on hearsay, dominant ideology, conditioning, and social control. Through classical and contemporary literature, film, and other cultural media in society we can see the construct of the hero and the villain. And so, in our families there’s a tendency towards a similar narrative. The question is, who holds the conch?

Who holds the dominant narrative, and who are the heroes and the villains in your family? And who has the power to say so? Who has permission to emote? What emotions are acceptable? Which aren’t? Who gets to decide? Who gets all the space in the family? Who gets none?

A desire for security plays a central role in shaping peoples perceptions as does a basic need for survival. One does not preclude the other. We depend on the people around us to ensure our survival as we grow from being babies. The beliefs of the people around us are beliefs we often assume for ourselves, out of necessity, survival. However, as we emerge into adulthood—a re-evaluation of what we’ve been told is relevant.

In my own understanding of how narrative works I see that people seem to prefer to believe something that isn’t true simply because it’s easier rather than to experience the discomfort of knowing they’ve been mistaken. To be mistaken can lead to change, and change leads to discomfort— threatening the status quo.

Functionally, our society is limited in its capacity, ability and willingness for wellness, wholeness, and inclusion—that is not to say that a drive for healing does not exist- it’s omnipresent—inherent in the fabric of our lives. Generational issues are manifest and people are lost in a sea of beliefs, buoyant on the status quo, rejecting growth and a progressive narrative driven by the principles of love, inclusion, acceptance; healing, balance, awakening, renewal and consciousness.

In experiencing my own family- I’ve seen the functional limitations of who gets to define the family and the role of the status quo in defining the narrative. Power dynamics inherent in who holds the conch and defines the narrative astounds me. How the status quo insists in maintaining itself, yet how this drive for healing and renewal persists in itself.

Our people are a sick organism living in a toxic habitat. And families, being the microcosm of this toxic habitat are susceptible to this chronic dysfunction of the macrocosm.  Where families should be a place of renewal, regeneration, community, acceptance, respite, and growth, we all too often have ongoing conflict, toxicity, gossip and hearsay.

Knowing, based on experience is where our power is, and truly where our hearts are. Examining all one’s been told. Defining one’s own narrative. There-in lies the capacity for growth, healing, renewal, and the story of one’s life. Regenerate, a new generation—let’s start now.