Love in Action

As I begin my journey with yet another group of people in another aspect of my life, I am reminded of just how vulnerable we are as people in society in general, to wanting other people to think we are a somebody. This somebody influenced by the people around you. We want to be seen in a good light, approved of, as a part of. The alternative being death. As social animals we need eachother but not in the way we think we do, not in the way we largely should. The resulting persona stuffed with insecurities based on the faulty premise that we are not enough as we are, as we are inately made, inately born to abide in love.

I find it interesting that there are two aspects to how we refer to ourselves, have you ever noticed that? You know, those moments where we say something about ourselves? Who is that self? There are two selves that we are aware of, that we have distinct impressions of. These aspects of ourselves compete for eachother's attention, and for other peoples attention. Our authentic self hovers every so presently beneath our public persona. A persona we are forced to wear by the spoken and unspoken standards and values of this society. The implicit and explicit rules, essentially. And I know you know what I mean.

How many times have you met someone in your life and walked away with the distinct impression of a bad feeling, our direct experience based on a very intuitive reading that resonates on the principle of truth abiding. Abiding in truth brings with it the reward of having a good barometer and the added boon of being authentic. It is available at any moment, in any interaction where you are not feeling respected in your dialogue. The natural impulse to be ourselves is always there, always in spirit. The carving out of the niche of being ourselves begins with a very authentic first step, and this can disrupt our lives as we lose balance with who we have been for so long, who we think, and have been told we should be, and (we think) we are. Fear of rejection, setting the precendent of dominant group-think behaviours, over guided, responsible, independent, principled behaviour. And what we have is a dominant society of fearful people pleasers; where leadership is severely lacking.

We have a society fundamentally, foundationally, and functionally based on the make you/break you concepts of acceptance or rejection, looking to external influence more often than not, and finding ourselves acting in familiar, fearful behaviour. The behaviour we told ourselves we had put an end to; or conversly, behaviour we are trying to prove ourselves right in. Either way, we are left feeling insecure, afraid we are not enough as we are, essentially, we are afraid of love.

True leadership requires independent, principled behaviour based on the values of love with the option of an evolving, authentic, life changing existence. Conversely, being a people pleaser, one never gets to fulfill their actual potential, one only gets to fulfill the expectations of others. It validates them, not you. To be a true leader takes courage, the courage to change. To be courageous requires evolving and taking the initiative to teach people how to treat you (validating your authentic self) as opposed to the people pleasing behaviour of fulfilling others expectations (validating their persona). In the words of Shakespeare, "God has given you one face, and you make yourself another." I would have to agree with Shakespear's essential point, however I would add to this the very real context of our social conditioning, forsaking our true selves to be accepted.  Be a leader, be independent; god is love, love is god, be yourself. We need you.

The best Gift is Presence?

Being fearful seems to be a normal state of being in this society, whether people are generally conscious of this or not, I don't know. I'm inclined to say, I don't think so. Bodies contorted and minds congealed, nerve wracked people waiting for the potential next turn of phrase, vehicle horn, emergency siren, demands from a boss. These are just a few examples. Discussion on my periphery seems to consist largely of symptoms of being disgruntled, overworked, overstressed, and generally anywhere but in the moment. I like to say that people are being symptomatic of the systematic.

I walk along and think that people are missing the point of their lives. But I don't blame people purely out of ignorance or lack of awareness (which I have found many new age spiritual dogmas to teach), I think that hegemonic forces are largely responsible for the general malaise and expression of frustration I hear in the discussion being presented by people relegated mainly to the working classes, and the poor. Though the rich too have their qualms, of course. The topic of these classes I mention mainly centering around money, and what has been done by it, what needs to be done by it, and who gets what, where, when, and how. How monotonous, boring, exhausting, and in the last analysis, all important.

The majority seem to be planning for the future just to get past the present, well, you know, being in the present just seems to bring more of it. And for many, being in the present is a very painful, real, burdensome place. I have to wonder at the cost of not being in the present, in our bodies; and the actual consequences to our overall sense of wellness and experience of wholeness as beings with purpose in our lives. The latter being a privileged thought and possibility for the more free agents in the world.

My point being that I think the experience of being disembodied as a coping mechanism can bring with it temporary relief, inspired by automatic survival instincts, but the purpose likely is not intended to bring with it, long term satisfaction, nor the experience of being home in one's body. I wonder how the physical body, with all its ability (some more than others obviously) could create, unencumbered by poverty and social stratifications as a result of this hegemony. It's been said that, "Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."(Alice Morse Earle) I think I'm going to go dance.

A 'Yes!' Poem by Emily Dickinson

I'm ceded, I've stopped being theirs;
The name they dropped upon my face
With water, in the country church,
Is finished using now,
And they can put it with my dolls,
My childhood, and the string of spools
I've finished threading too.

Baptized before without the choice,
But this time consciously, of grace
Unto supremest name,
Called to my full the crescent dropped,
Existence's whole arc filled up
With one small diadem.

My second rank, too small the first,
Crowned, crowing on my father's breast,
A half unconscious queen;
But this time, adequate, erect,
With will to choose or to reject,
And I choose-just a throne.